Turning Pain into Power!

volkan-olmez-523It’s hard enough being broken and trying to bring back the pieces together. You didn’t see it coming, you were not prepared. Honestly, nobody is, even when we lie to ourselves that we knew it would happen the pain is still the same. Whenever we give love we always expect it to be reciprocated. And that’s where we all go wrong. Just because you are nice to someone doesn’t mean they will be nice to you. Our feeling and affection might not be the same as our partner’s; after all, we were all raised in different environments and have differential views. As humans we always have expectations.

Love is a two-way street, not a one-way boulevard. If the traffic isn’t going your direction, then it’s time to pick a better road. if you realize you are not compatible, you have to figure out how to move forward without the person you thought you’ll spend the rest of your life with. The person you couldn’t imagine your life with, the goals, achievements, success, were all attached to him. You thought you had it all figured out. Then one betrayal led to another, lies, cheatings and most importantly the disrespect. You tried to hold all these in, thinking maybe at some point he will come to his senses. You do your best to show him that you can be enough. But the more you love him the more he becomes unattracted to you. You start feeling worthless, insecure and not attractive anymore.

One thing people don’t know is when you cheat on your partner, you just don’t break her heart, you break her spirit, confidence and basically change everything.

Then you have friends that you need to act strongly around and show them that you are okay. Actually, you don’t have to pretend around your friends, but the kind of judgment and strong opinions coming from them will make you think they have the perfect relationships. They speak so harshly about your situations to make them feel good about theirs. They pretend that its easy to just leave everything and move on. And high chances are, they are dealing with worse situations than yours. Nobody should tell you what to do with your feelings. Move at your own pace, try till you can’t try anymore. And if you feel the pressure is too much, just cut them off, you don’t owe anyone any explanation. Handle your business and go for what makes you happy.

At the same time, you are a Queen and don’t allow to be treated like a peasant. I understand, there is always that fear of being alone and to start over. So you think its easy and less painful to stay with someone that treats you like trash than to be alone. You are okay to be treated less of a person because you are afraid of getting lonely. At the end of the day, you will decide to either stay in the same predicament for eternity with someone who doesn’t appreciate or respect your feelings. Or you can be strong, get out of the relationship with all your dignity and start a new life. A good number of people telling you what to do with your relationship, won’t tell you what is happening in their relationship because they preach what they don’t practise.

All in all, you didn’t lose, you learned.



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