I could feel the rage from his breathing; I guess it was too much to take in so he turned around. I must admit that the feeling was amazing. I felt like a winner after a difficult race. Or maybe I was celebrating so soon. He turned and laughed out hysterically which made me think he was losing it.
‘Oh baby, I know he is HIV positive, so am I and so are you’. I tried to convince myself that he is lying, but I was too smart, to tell the truth from a lie. He said the words perfectly, he didn’t even stutter or struggle like the liars do. This kind of news was too much for me to handle, I felt like somebody stepped on my chest, followed by a sharp cramp in my stomach.
It took me two whole minutes to get myself together, not too strong after all, huh? I thought. But in this position, I need to keep on pretending that am strong. Boom! Then it hit, ‘this can’t be true, I haven’t had sex with you in months’, I said with confidence looking directly in his eyes to see if my statement will have an effect on him. Nothing, he didn’t even try to wipe the silly look on his face. Still laughing, ‘you are not stupid Pauline, it might take years before the symptoms show plus am taking good care of you, you are welcome’, he said.
My legs couldn’t carry the weight of the pain in my chest, I dropped on my knees crying out loud, or maybe screaming. My head was spinning and I was losing the grip, I had so many questions but words couldn’t come out of my open mouth. He reached out and made me sit on the bed. ‘Am sorry Pauline, he said. I know haven’t been the best husband but we both played part in this mess. I know you never loved me, you were in for the money and that’s okay. I forgive you. I also know you are screwing my boss, Ben’. The last part made me wish the earth could just swallow me, if this was cartoon my eyes would pop out their socket, in and out a number of times. Guilt humbled me and I was ready for any terms Patrick would lay on the table at this point.
‘Here is the deal, lets file for the divorce. We’ll blame it on the inability to getting kids and I’ll take the heat for it. You can go ahead and start a relationship with Ben and I’ll do the same with Oscar. My lawyer will bring the papers tomorrow’ he said, wiping my tears. ‘Well, so you had all this planned out, huh? Were you going to divorce me anyway? And what about your family, how will you explain your relationship with Oscar?’I asked standing up. ‘Am a grown man, I don’t need approval from anyone’ he said.
So this is it, we have finally come to an agreement, but wait does Lenah know her husband is screwing my husband? Poor thing, I thought. Of course am happy how things turned out, who wants a sissy for a husband? Not me. Patrick seems happy too. He finally gets to go enjoy his relationship with his boyfriend. Thinking about them made sick. ‘On a light note, are you the top or the bottom?’ I asked and we both laughed.