The Melancholy 3!

It was his birthday, my baby was turning 8 and since he did so well in school I thought I could get him something special from the money I’d been saving up. He was obsessed with Ben 10(cartoon), so I got him the Ben 10 watch, t-shirt and a book. I imagined his smile when I was buying the stuff, I could almost see his last teeth or rather the gap. I knew this would make him happy. On my way home, I passed by a lot of drug addicts and it made me think of Hamza. I hadn’t seen him since the last incident when he literally flew out of the door after hitting him. That day, I took Aziz to the hospital and had him checked. Thank God he was fine, but the doctor told me that it wasn’t the first time; I mean it had been happening. How did I miss the signs?

I talked to Hashim about it and he was as upset as I was, for the first time since I moved in with him he showed some concern towards Aziz. Maybe I was wrong, he actually cared, I thought. He went an extra mile and gave a warning to all his friends, and these were his exact words ‘Oya, mukimuona Hashim kokote mwambieni ama zake ama zangu.’ His words warmed my heart; at least I knew he is the second person that actually cared about my son. That made me smile as I approached the door to our house. I was about to get in, then I remembered it had been a long day and my son probably hadn’t taken anything so I should buy supper before I went in.

With my hands full, I kicked the door gently with my leg hoping it would open. So I put the bags down, frustrated by the locked door, I pushed it hard and this time my fears were confirmed. The door was actually locked which was suspicious because the door was never locked during the day and I was sure my son was home so there was no way he could lock himself inside. I didn’t even think twice, I took a few steps back and kicked the door so hard and this time it obeyed.

I can’t really explain what I saw without crying, my heart is bleeding. I can’t put it in words how I felt that day. With blurry vision, I saw the one person that promised to harm his brother for a child that was not even his. My son was lying on a couch and my husband on top of him. Thrusting his One-eyed monster, that was too big for me to handle, into my son.

At that moment I didn’t care what he would do after busting him, I just rushed to my son and he wasn’t breathing. I guess he choked him from behind when the sweetness exceeded from molesting an 8-year-old boy. He was always rough in bed; my son couldn’t take it so he allowed God to take him. That’s what I want to believe. This monster didn’t just molest my child but killed him too. The strange part is, I didn’t even cry, my whole body died, I became numb instantly, my heart snaring, unable to breathe.  I stayed like that the whole night, just holding my son.

I don’t quite remember what happened after that, the only memory I have is of my son lying helpless on that couch. He was buried the following day, and I found out that Hamza, the drug addict, was actually the innocent and good guy compared to my so-called husband. It’s been four weeks now and still, I can’t function. I want everything to stop or I’ll make my own world stop, I have nothing to live for anyway. How much pain can people take before their hearts actually explode? I’ll make it stop.

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