Times are changing, for the better, of course. In terms of equality, things are looking good for a girl child, I mean not totally but we have taken a big step and achieved so much. Women can now do the jobs they couldn’t do back in the day, even the privilege of stepping out of the door every morning to go to work is huge. Some of our great-great-grandmothers didn’t get that opportunity. As much as some elite men are getting used to the equality and wants to entertain the 50/50 idea, they still find it hard to let go of what is known as the definition of man (a provider, protector etc) and compromise.
I saw a this on Instagram by @penciledcelebrities, with this caption:
“I’m not here to be abused by you emotionally, physically and psychologically because FINANCIALLY you make more than me! Just remember who I am supposed to be. I am a man, I am a father, I am a provider, I am a protector, but most importantly, I am a human being first and everything second. I am strong but my love for you makes it seem as if I’m weak. I may appear okay to you because you never hit me and left any physical marks but your rage, your insults and your shaming over who the breadwinner is, increases the deficit of my manhood more than you can ever imagine.”
“ I shared it with some of my friends and the feedback was interesting. They begged to differ with Chimamanda who said, “We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man.” They are not scared or feel threatened my ambitious or successful women at all, apparently, they can handle them. So I asked, in this situation what would be the deal breaker? I must say, I was impressed with the responses. As a woman, I had to take a minute and check myself.
To this date, even the most successful women in the world would still need a man that would provide and protect them. That’s just the way it is, men are supposed to be that, providers and protectors. So when they are robbed of that opportunity, they feel empty, less and simply bruised. The problem is not a woman providing the problem is the contempt, insults and rage that comes with it. Men have been and still are providing for women but let’s flip that coin, 5 minutes in and the whole clan knows about it, social media and any listening ear. Don’t get me wrong, not all women but a good number will never let a man forget that she was wearing the pants at some point in their lives.
It is hard enough to sit back and watch a woman doing everything and providing for the family. Their egos get bruised because they feel entitled to that role, according to them, that’s what makes a man. That’s their reason and purpose for waking up every day, to provide and take care of their families. That’s their job. How do you think they feel when they are constantly reminded that they are not men enough, either directly or indirectly? It’s so wrong on so many levels. They are human first; consider their feelings before you start gossiping about him to the whole world.
I’m not saying now you can be a scrub and justify it with everything I’ve just said. According to Dentingy’s Child “A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fly also known as a buster, always talking about what he likes but just sit on his broke ass.” Put in the work, am sure some women can hold down a jobless and broke men but you also need to show that you are trying. As long as you are determined and working on what you want to achieve no woman will threaten or scare you. There is something wrong with your character if at this time and age you are still threatened by successful and ambitious women. Get used to it, they are not going anywhere.
Despite the ill-treatment, some men still stay. I’m trying to understand what will keep a man in this abusive situation, kids, age, sex, secrets, money? What exactly would you want to compromise with your peace of mind? Peace of mind is priceless.